” I saved a life today! “

I recently took on a job as a switchboard operator at a local hospital.  While I have been waiting for Dr. McDreamy to come through the door, he is still no where in site.  Working a switchboard gives you a whole other view as to life within a hospital.  Some good things you discover, some not so much. Oh, and the switchboard is nothing like you imagine, simply a pc with a key board!

You have to know certain codes within a hospital, and how you are to react to them.  Time can mean lives, so I take this stuff VERY seriously.  Recently, I was sitting at the board, with a trainer beside me, when an alarm went off!!  Oh my God, it was a CODE BLUE!!  Code Blue is when a patient is having a heart attack, and on the verge of imminent death.  My eyes get wide, and I am panicked.  Fortunately my trainer, did what she has probably done a hundred times.  All calls are ended and she goes to the overhead speaker to make the announcement.  3 times.  code blue to room—-, code blue to room…. etc.  We go back to our routine work, but in other parts of the hospital, doctors and nurses are scurrying to get to this patient.  Pretty exciting stuff.  I have now practiced what I will do whenI get a Code Blue, numerous times….and I am ready.

Later on the employee bus, to parking, I settle in, and hear a male nurse exclaim to anyone who is willing to listen,  “I saved a life today!”  I told him how fabulous that was and he says “Yeah, it was a code blue!!  This guy was gone, we brought him back.  You just don’t know how unusual and great it is to be able to bring them back!”  He was beaming.  I mentioned that we had called that code blue, and how wonderful it is to hear the news,  that the Code Blue was successful.

The next day back at the office I pronounced the outcome of the Code Blue we had called.  As I did, I was struck with a sense of pride too, and with a realization of how very important team work is.  In this business things need to run like a clock.  Congrat’s to the operator, who did not hesitate, just a second too long , which might have caused this man’s death.  To the nurse who could have seen something as routine, but on checking further realized the need to ask for a Code Blue.  To the doctors and nurses who flew in to action and all did their part just as they were trained.  WELL DONE PEOPLE, WELL DONE!!

No, Dr. McDreamy has not made a visit, but I am not disappointed.  One more family has their dad, their brother, their friend….and it is all because of all of us (and the man above) did our jobs.   It’s the best!


Handling ANGER….how do you do it?

I think the greatest prayer I have ever known is the prayer of St. Francis…and I’m not even Catholic.:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury,pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen

I want to be this person.  The one who can go past the anger, forgive the wrongs, give the other guy the benefit of the doubt.  Sadly, I fall so short, way  too many times.  Anger, is a powerful thing.  It can take a perfectly normal person (okay almost normal), and turn them into a crazy person.  I recently had two things occur that nearly pushed me over the brink…

One , a family member messaged me, feigning concern over my recent health issues, and wishing me well.  This is the same person who only two years ago could not have been more vicious to me, as my family member was fighting for his life.  I lost my family member,  and there was some speculation on my part, if the other side of the family had acted in his best interest. Bare in mind, I never openly said it.  We will never know if his life ended early because it was the right thing, or the expediant thing.  There is that nagging doubt.  Did they really do all they could?  Or did they do what was convenient for them?  Wouldn’t it be awful if they really did do the right thing, and all this anger and hurt, were only from a misunderstanding?
You never know what you will do, until you walk a mile in the other guys shoes.  Lord, help me to remember this.  Help me not to judge.  I really don’t and never have had all the information to make a correct assesment of what happened.  I can fault them for that, but really, what is the point.
Situation number 2:
Yesterday, I had a friend visit from out of state.  He and his wife are thinking of buying a home here.  We found a nice little neighborhood that just happened to have a foreclosed house.  As is our habit,  we are out of the car, and and going over the outside of the house with a fine tooth comb.  We don’t go in…although honestly, if the door had been open, we would have.  Anyway, just as we are finishing looking at the house, my fiance  and friend, still out in the back yard, as I come to the front of the house.  I go over to the car, and begin to get in, when the neighbor across the street comes strutting up to me with a “Can I help you?”  The attitude was bad from the start.  I explain we were just looking at the house that is in foreclosure.  “You have no business being over there “, he bellows.  I comment that we are simply looking at the house we are not going in, and that my friend is an investor.  “This is a private community”, he informs me.  “You have no business here”.  “If you want to know anything about that house you call Bank of America “.  He is being really nasty now.  Somewhere deep in side civility still reigned, and I found myself nodding my head and agreeing with him.  I was telling him, that I understood.  He stalked back to his side of the street.  My fiance and friend came up only in time to hear the very last words.  So I had to repeat the story to them as we are driving away.  A private community?  Really?  It was not gated.  There were no signs that no one was allowed in but residents.  Just who the hay does this guy think he is?  My friend and I are thinking about what he said,  and we are getting angrier by the minute.  My friend remarked that he could buy and sell that toad….which he could.
Who knows.  Maybe he just got demoted, or lost his job, or found out that his wife was cheating, or his dog died, or Lord knows what.  To let that anger take hold, gives power to the thing we are angry at.  I need to say that  prayer again.  I need a lot of work….


What’s YOUR Day worth?

When I first moved to Florida I was so in love (and still am) with the beauty and natural wildlife of this beautiful state  that   I  would boast to my northern friends,  that this is the Sunshine State and that is why we had so many lovely days.

I had a lovely day today.  I am facing some tough medical stuff, but somehow because my family is with me, I am happy.  Today I spent the day with my daughter.  There is something so special about spending time with someone you love.  We are both just a little scattered sometimes!  But we don’t care, we both see it, and look at each other with those knowing smiles, that each of us is just a little nutsy! We are driving in the car and we are talking, both of us know that if the other is not paying attention, we could end up in Miami instead of St Augustine! It doesn’t matter! It doesn’t matter that we remind each other- we MUST remember a notebook when we go into the office supply store, to only come home, look at each other and laugh, because neither of us remembered!  There are a million things I  love about this child who has now become a young women.  I  can’t fuss too much when she overspends,  or becomes obsessive compulsive- after all the fruit does not fall far from the tree!  I see her sense of humor and I see her heart, and I am just so damn proud that this is my kid.

I had a lovely day today, and I am so blessed….

The Best Job I Have Ever Had………. Pays Nothing

You think about your dream job, and you think about all the money you can make, or you think about the prestige the job will bring.  Often you think about what kind of  lifestyle the money will buy, the toys that can now be yours,or  how you will no longer have to worry about where the rent money will come from.

Somewhere along the line, once you’ve had the nice house, and you’ve had the toys, and you’ve been able to do a few vacations, buy the clothes you want without counting every dime…somewhere along the line it hits you.  The house was nice…but its just a house.  The clothes are great, but hell, they are just clothes.  The vacations are fun, but so is a simple day at the beach that costs you nothing.  You finally get it.  It’s your family, your friends,your health…that is what counts.  It’s the simple stuff.

I recently started volunteering at a local hospital, where I get to interact with patients and families.  I am in the preop, and post op surgical unit.  Some people are scared, some are not.  Some have families, and some don’t….but they all have a story.  Every day that I walk into that building I ask God to help me,  to make a difference for someone.  Now, I know, I am not a surgeon., or a nurse, or a chaplain.  What I have to offer is only a friendly smile, a word of comfort,  a listening ear. and an update on where a loved one is in the surgical process.  I meet people who don’t know English, and my trying to speak to them in Spanish only brings a wide grin.  One year of Spanish and I am such a novice at speaking it.  But somehow,  because I am reaching out and trying to speak in their language, they smile, and then try to speak back  to me, in English.  We both laugh,  because we don’t know who is worse.  There is a universal language that I know they and I both understand.  They get it when I am trying to help them.  When I rush around and ask “How do you say welcome back in spanish?”  I want to know, so when they come back from surgery,  I can say this to them,  in their language,  and they will know that someone cares about them.  They have no family there, but on my watch- they are not alone.

I don’t get a paycheck for this job, but what I do get fills my heart and my spirit.  I love these families and I do care about what happens to them.  So I continue to pray…… if I can lighten a load Lord, please continue to give me the chance.    I  know I need a regular paying job, but I will hate to give up this…my dream job.

After Bethenny Ever After…..A look at the relationship of Bethenny & Jason……

I want to be clear.  I am rooting for these two!  Bethenny is energetic, enthusiastic, complex, , fun and funny.  She is also a person with feelings, and she is at times very vulnerable.  (Actually, at many times.) I get the fact that a lot of this is scripted, but when the cameras follow you so much, a bunch of REAL comes out. Like all of us, she is many things and different things at different times.  Jason appears to be sweet, at times supportive, at times, not so much.  He has a tough road to hoe, being the partner to dynamic Bethenny.  Sometimes it’s what couples say to each other that carves the relationship.  Sometimes its what they think the other will say,  that preps them to respond in a particular  way.

First, let’s look at a couple of comments by Jason.  When asked by the good Doctor on the boat what Jason thought he could learn about himself, his response might have been received as hurtful and a little embarrassing.  Remember,  Bethenny set up this voyage, in the hopes of helping her relationship.  There was another couple on the boat who were complete strangers.  Jason’s response to the question?  “I’ve learned that I’m a moron for coming on this boat for a 10 hour trip!”  Way to go Jason!!  If you had set the trip up with the same good intentions, would it have felt good for Bethenny to respond this way??  Jason does make amends later,  when talking about being stranded on the boat.  Fortunately, Bethenny also gets to hear this, ” I would not want to be stuck on a boat with anybody else but her”.  Kudos Jason!  More of the second type of comment and less of the first type, please!

It is obvious  that Bethenny wants this to work.  If she didn’t,  she could take her bundle of money and just move on.  After all, she’s beautiful, smart, popular and resourceful.  Seems a lot of things get said at home that we don’t hear..(imagine that!)  Bethenny wants Jason to be happy.  Yes, she wants a large closet, but no,  she doesn’t want it if Jason is going to be miserable about it.  Clearly she infers that he would make her pay for the switch, regardless of what he is saying on camera.

Her mom sells a negative story to Star and one of her reactions is “Jason will be like…You’re damaged. Well he’s right” she shrugs.  Really Beth?  He would respond THAT WAY to this happening to you?  But he’s suppose to be your soft place to fall!  Are you sure he wouldn’t be like, ” Baby, don’t let her get to you.  You know she’s desperate and she doesn’t even know who we are!”

Jason comes from a solid stable family.  Bethenny comes from a shattered one.  It appears that she is really trying to make this work.  I don’t know if Jason just thinks he can take this stuff for granite, and that the little digs don’t mean anything, but I hope he wises up.  Bethenny has been alone and felt alone for a long time.  She won’t be a victim.  She wants and deserves happy, and while she (like the rest of us) is not perfect, she is striving for the right stuff.  She is caring about what Jason  thinks and wants , and she is vulnerable.

Relationships are tender delicate things.  They can be bruised and battered so easily.  Treat your partner how you want to be treated.  Jason and Bethenny need to remember……….. they have to be the SOFT place for the other to fall….



I love Bethenny Frankel sooo let’s look at that relationship!

What does it take to have a really good relationship?  I wondered that one for years, then stumbled onto one.  I’d love to be able to share some of the things I have learned and continue to learn everyday, so here goes.  I don’t know a thing about your particular relationship, so let’s start with a celebrity and at least what is presented to the viewers.  Bethenny Frankel is an amazing woman.  Tough childhood etc.  Extremely successful, very verbal.  Jason, a completely different up bringing, good childhood etc.  A little more on the quiet side.  Successful in his own right, but not to the extent of Bethenny.  First.  It is tough for any man to have a relationship with a women who is way more successful.  It has a tendency to emasculate him.  That’s a toughie. Second, Jason is seen by the public as this nearly “perfect” man, which makes Bethenny feel like she is “less than”.  He builds up resentment, she builds up resentment.  These two have some obstacles in front of them that can be overwhelming, before they even open their mouths!  Now Bethenny has this amazing career that keeps her going 90 miles an hour.  I think Jason is happy for her success, but wants more Jason and Bryn time.  Bethenny, has to shut the business down at night and weekends.  If she is not willing to do this, I doubt things will get better. Jason has to learn not to say things to her that dig at her.  Little digs are like chipping  away on a rock.  A little scar here, a little scar there.  If you aren’t careful, pretty soon you won’t see the rock, just the scars.  How would it feel if he said what I am saying to him- to me?  How would it feel to me, if she said what I am saying to her…to me?  It’s basic it’s simple rules.  Home has to be the soft place to fall for both of you.  I’ll update as shows go on!

You know you’re a redneck when…..

Driving down Masters Drive in Saint Augustine today, I saw an interesting sight.  A homeowner had decided to chainlink his entire yard.  The only problem was, he wasn’t sure where to put the mail box.  I mean, it’s a lot of trouble to go outside the gate to get your mail.  His solution?   The post of the mailbox was on the house side of the fence, but the box itself was cleverly installed by cutting a hole in the fence, so the box could protrude through it! Guess he’ll just contort his body and reach over the fence and around to get the mail!!

The power of the net…going viral, tweeting, reblogging, passing to facebook

Now more than ever we should be able to reach out and touch the masses.  For those contaminated by the water at Camp Lejeune, we have difficulty in getting the masses to pay attention.  We aren’t concentrated in one place like love canal.  You can’t walk down my street and say ” That’s the house that the baby lived in who died from the poisoning, over there is where Lynn lives- she has kidney cancer, over there is Paul, he has kidney cancer too, in that house is Mike, who developed breast cancer….  We are all over the country, and therefore damn near invisible.  The net can make us visible, but it takes a few people who will take the time, to reblog, tweet, post on facebook, and then ask their friends to do it again, and then their friends to do it again.  We need roughly 20,000 signatures  Sign the petition, it only takes minutes tell me you reblogged, sent it to your facebook friends, and how many friends, that you tweeted to your followers.  Come on people, the little people can have power, but we have to stand up and take it!!!  wwws.whitehouse.gov    Google water contamination at Camp Lejeune.  Who has a lot of followers?  Who is willing to help?  Is anyone out there?

Shame on You Glamour Magazine!!

Caitlyn Jenner is a drama gone bad.

Continue reading

And in the beginning…there was love

In the beginning there was love.  I hope you have felt it.  It’s like nothing else.  You grin for no apparent reason, things flutter in your stomach, laughter comes easy, conversation flows.  People look at the two of you and they wish they had it.  You feel like you are walking in a post card.  He does everything he can to make you feel like you are in a postcard.  The settings couldn’t have been choreographed better.  Whether it was a little restaurant with twinkling lights, a long walk through the park, or standing side by side  at the ocean…it didn’t matter- there was love.  It was fun, it was light, and there were no worries.

You still believe in love.  Yep, after all these years and several relationships later….the belief is still there. (After all, we were brought up on Walt Disney. )You  believe in fairy tales…You  DO!!  You think the fairy tale is possible..extremely rare, but totally possible.  Only, its not easy, its not always light, and sometimes you just wish you’d get a card, let alone be in one.  The old saying, “It takes two to Tango”, really applies.  The fairy tale only lives, if both people are giving, sharing, striving,communicating and WANTING to build that wonderful magical thing called love.

Everything is just soooooooooo   good in the beginning.  He is your cheer leader, he encourages you, and you lean on him, and he wants that.  Soon, so much of your time revolves around him.  Every weekend is spent  shopping little stores, checking out new restaurants, listening to music while sipping your favorite drink. You can’t imagine enjoying anything, without him right there beside you!  He becomes your life.  Its warm, its comfortable and its fun.

As a woman, we always want more.  Things can never stay the same.   They have to grow, evolve and morph into something even more wonderful.  More togetherness is needed.  More commitment is expected.  More loyalty is wanted.  You want your place in his life to be elevated.  You think he wants these things too….but you don’t really know.  He is a Man.  He doesn’t express himself the way you do.  Its all so clear to you.  There is a path, and it moves forward.  Doesn’t he get it?

Slowly, things begin to creep into your thoughts;  about how committed he really is. Maybe his family didn’t treat you well, or he didn’t come to your defense about something, and your mind starts to see things differently..Maybe he is not committed at all, and the light on the fairy tale,blinks.  You begin to think about a lot of things that you had waited patiently for..things that never happened-things  that you  knew  would happen (after all- let’s be patient),  ….and the light gets dimmer. You were patient, waiting for him to get his stuff together, now you realize he never will.  He never wanted to.  He liked the choreographed part.  He talked a good game.  He liked the looks of the fairy tale, but he never wanted or intended to work to make the fairy tale a reality.  It was within his grasp..  It was within mine. It is within yours.

No matter how many times you love…don’t give up!  It can be disappointing and at times, gut wrenching, but it can also be wonderful, and exhilarating and life giving!  I believe you can only get out of it, what you put in.  Jump in with both feet! Don’t hold back.  Reach for the stars…and you never know.   You might just meet that special man who believes in fairy tales too.  Only the next time, maybe he will be a man that is  willing to put in the hard  work to to keep the fairy tale alive!

Bethenny Frankel…wants it all….NOW!!

I love you Bethenny.  But girl…you are a hot mess!!  Like so many women, we really do want it all, or we think we do.  It’s the type A personality that drives us to greatness, and its the same type A that pushes us to despair.  Bethenny is a wonderful, sweet, driven, funny, sometimes generous, sometimes selfish person.

I want a husband.  I want a baby.  I want a family.  I want.  I want.  I want.  I want it NOW!!!  Bethenny, you got it.  You got the husband, you got the baby, you got the family!!   Is it as important now, as it once was?  You wanted the family, and Jason’s family is there, yet you can’t seem to embrace them?  What do you really, really, really want?  The talk show?  The fame?  The money?  How much is enough for you?  Don’t you realize that you could end up with the fame, and the money, and you could still be unhappy? 

I look forward to seeing the talk show.  I am wishing her all the success in the world.  I am just sad to see that she may just be driving herself a little crazy, and destroying the relationships around her.  It can’t be all about her.  It can’t be that way for any of us, or if it is…we may be sleeping next to an empty pillow.

My advice?  Slow down Bethenny.  It’s not a race.  If you truly want your relationships, try looking through the other guys eyes to see how that life would feel.  You will always find time for the things that you think are important.  Look at that, and then move forward, but not before you can look behind to see what you might be leaving in the wake.

Till next time…

Camp Lejeune Water Contamination

What a crazy society we live in.  We learn the slogans, brainwash our kids with them, but we don’t mean them.  Semper Fi.  Always faithful.  The young marine families that worked and lived at Camp Lejeune believed the mantra.  The wives were mostly proud young women who were living on base in this special society of young people who were always willing to fight for this nation.  We believed it.  We lived it.  And now, many of us,  are sick, and many are giving their lives, not because of what we were willing to fight for, but for what the military was secretely doing to us.  In the beginning they didn’t know about the contamination, but when they did know.  they did NOTHING.

I have worked since I was 14 years old.  From the time my daughter was twelve I raised her and her brother alone.  I obeyed the law.  I saved some money.  I paid cash for my home.  Now, because of the water contamination at Camp Lejeune I have kidney cancer.  There is no medical insurance and the small amount of money that is saved is all I have to live on.  I am scared to death that I will lose my home, and I am made to feel like I’ve done something wrong because I have a small (and I mean small) 401k.  Apparently if I had been irresponsible, lived on the system, and took advantage of all the social nets out there, I could then get the health care I need.  Wow.  Guess I got it all wrong.

We reward sports figures- but pay our teachers nothing.  We provide social benefits to illegal aliens, but a citizen who has been a productive member of society for years, can’t get any help with medical.  Semper Fi?  Who are you kidding?

Congress please pass the bill to provide health benefits to the family members of the military that were poisoned by the water at Camp Lejeune.  Please repost this to all of your contacts and ask them to do the same to help raise awareness for the thousands of families who are suffering.  Send this post to all the kidney doctors you can get an address for.  They need to be aware of the chemicals that were in the water that are known sources for contributing to kidney cancer.


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